FAITH ----> a hard lesson to learn

from my blog on sunday EARLY in the morning...

tired i am
sad i am
i take refuge in songs, videos, words, emails
but those are not worth
those are not useful
what's most important is still FAITH

how much can we believe
how far can we believe
can we stretch it to the fullest of all
is it that easy to just say i believe?

i seek an answer to an unexisting question
in hope of finding the true answer
i tried all ways but it all boils down to FAITH

how much can i risk?
how much can i believe?
i ask i ask i ask
my answer is evident eventhough i choose to neglect it
it's still FAITH
it's still FAITH

i just finish watching mr.magorium's wonder emporium! now it's 439am in the morning. Since 1pm when i wokeup today, i felt troubled, scared, tired, worried. It all came right at once. So i tried all ways to get rid of those feelings. Studied, listen to christian music, asked people if they want to go out, read the bible, read encouraging emails, etc. In the end, i watched a movie. I did seek God! i asked i asked! but i heard no answer nor reply. I knOw He's talking to me but i'm not listening or maybe i choose not to listen! i'm tired, really tired. I need an answer! today my whole day surrounds FAITH! whole day! G3 says maybe God is trying to teach you something and trying to teach you FAITH! wow!!! this is a very hard lesson for me!!! it's sooo easy to tell people to believe and just trust God in everything you do, just surrender; but when we are called to take it into action, sometimes it seems soo soo hard! i admit i find it HARD! i find it really HARD! and i can't do it on my own! i need God to help me learn this FAITH thing!!! i need God to guide me to fully comprehand what is FAITH! It's an easy word which is easy to do once we fully grasp the meaning! i want to know what is real FAITH! God is teaching me what is real FAITH! it's a tough journey learning what this simple word is! i'm in this journey. I really need God! i really need help! Help me oh LOrd!

one sentence i can remember from the movie:

your life is an occasion. RISE to the occasion!

i proudly say that i just finished one test this morning! and that God was with me all the time! He sent me angels and He showed me love! i was worried and sad and tired, but He showed me grace, He showed me what He can do if only i surrender. I'm still learning and i'm still on this tough journey! but i want to learn FAITH i want to act in FAITH! yet, i know i can't have FAITH without God! coz i can't do it on my own! i just can't! my strength is limited, my perseverance limited; but God is unlimited! He's the God of the I M POSSIBLE!!! I thankq lord for these wonderful week. It was a tough one! It's going to be a tough one too! but i know You'll be by my side! I pray You'll just help me go on and havE FAITH! Strengthen my FAITH! Stretch my FAITH like a rubber!!! thank you lord in advance for limitLESS FAITH! in jesus most precious name i pray, AMen!=)

~G2~