i believe i have a testimony to share...big smile=) a testimony that must be shared and must be spread around!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!=)
first and foremost...i must annouce that I'M STILL ALIVEEE!!! ahhh!!!=) still breathing, still laughing, still talking, still sleeping, still mumbling, still chatting, still eating, still walking, still running, still salivating, still smelling my feet, still eating food with hands, still still still still ALIVE!!!
let me introduce myself more to those who don't know me..i'm a pharmacy student, i proudly say that=) now second year and it's really really really TOUGH!!! this week, i had two KILLING units, the amount of things we need to memorise is approximately 5cm of full pack notesss...almost every page need to memorise and and and...waliao!!!=) and partly because i didn't study much during the semester lar...my fault=) i broke down and really went down on my knees. IT was impossibleee!!! really impossibleee!!! how how how???!!! how to finish??? even if can finish, how how how to remember sooo much???!!! how???!!! HOW was my most used word with God in our conversation for the past two weeks...=) i asked sooo much until i want to vomit=)
but today i shall share what happen this morning and last night. I was studying HARD (i think lar) for this morning's paper since weds. Ok, maybe weds i slacked a bit but still i really studied! then thurs was full on!!! i wokeup in the morning (FORCEd myself), studied, ate, slept for one hour in the afternoon (i normally sleep 2 hours---afternoon nap) and studieddd!!! i even studied until my back pain larrr....means sit tooo long...ahhh!!! waliao!!! cramp cramp cramp!!! kept cramping the STUFF into my tiny monkey brain!!! sooo much sooo much!!! ahhh!!!
it was all well and fine...weds and thurs whole day i felt happy glad energetic and believed had faith everything will be fine!!! i could do it!!! i was really happy!!! and i just felt peace all the time, like don't have exam kinda feeling...then...after dinner, i started feeling tired edi...so i went shower...after shower...did my quiet time, came out and studied in the hall as i always used do. Then then...i don't know why, but as i read through the notes, i just couldn't absorb what i was reading at all!!! everything seem to be blur and just words...no heart!!!
I WAS FINDING MY HEART!!! my HEART was not there and i knew it was not there!!! i don't know why!!! i was really desperate for God, really really desperate for God...it was already time of frustration, time of disappointment, time of NO TIME!!! ahhh!!! no time liao!!! i still got alot alot haven't read!!! HOW???!!! and my brain wasn't functioning at all, it was telling me: "trecia, I DON'T WANT TO WORK EDI!!! I QUIT!!!" waliao...imagine your brain telling you he/she wants to quit!!! and my body was also saying: "trecia trecia, i'm really tired, i'm really tired, can you let me rest???!!" i was like: "WHAT???!!! you both want to rest at this time, when i need to finish everything by tomoro morning???!!! are you crazy???!!! please lar please lar...tahan a few more hoursss, then i let you rest okok???!!!" but both of them insisted and i couldn't do much yeah...so i went to sleep for one hour, then wokeup, the same thing, my brain very naughty!!! say don't want means don't want...so i gave up and say ok lar, i go sleep 3.5hours then wakeup and continue...i had to finish!!!
so so so...i slept, wokeup at 530am in the morning, CONTINUED!!! went tru all the major reactions and process, memo memo memo...didn't study the last two lecture notes coz it just couldn't go in. My body was tired!!! really tired!!! everything tired!!! Then i STOPPED at 810am. STOPPED everything...and i went to read my bible and this time i really SURRENDERED!!! coz i really couldn't do anything else, really couldn't. I told God, nah that's all i can do, I SURRENDER...saying these few words for the millionth time...this time, i said it with all my heart, coz i knew that was the only thing i could do already, nothing else!!! and then, i went, my hands holding on to an encourgement note from an angel=) i held it tight!!!...
when i opened my front door, right before my eyes, i saw HAZEL!!! ahhh!!! ahhh!!! sooo yham!!! ahhh!!! she was right before my eyes!!! ahhh!!!=) we hugged each other and she said jiayou!!!=) love herrrr!!!!!!!!! i tell you right from that moment i stepped out from my front door, i knew God was with me!!! He was He was!!! no fear no fear!!! ahhh!!!=) then, as usual a few of us gathered and we prayed, this time each of us really prayed with a sincere heart and a heart to want daddy to help us!!! a heart that believed!!! really believed and surrendered!!!=) i walked in the exam hall with NO FEAR AT ALL. I was the first one to walk into the exam hall, and i walked in with heads held high!!!=) as i read the paper during the reading time, i started writing...i don't normally write during reading time, mainly because my brain can't function properly during the first few minutes de...but i was writing!!! and i was really writing!!! i actually couldn't believe i was writing...haha=) and then when it was time to start, i just kept on writing non-stop...non-stop...really non-stop...there were sooo many questions i didn't understand and didn't know how to do, BUT my right hand was writing non-stop!!! waliao!!! i tell you!!! it wasn't me doing the paper just now, it really wasn't me!!! God was doing the paper for me!!! He was writing for me!!! ahhh!!! i never really felt like that before hey!!! and it was just amazing!!! i don't know if i will pass the paper BUT i BELIEVE GOD will help me pass the paper!!!=) i just believe it!!!
and when i stepped foot into my house, right in front of my eyes was a box of tiramisu handmade by my two lovely wonderful kids (i call them my kids, they call me mummy)!!! ahhh!!! this semester i have been blessed sooo much!!! sooo much!!! the blessings i received is beyond what anybody could ever comprehand!!! my SIAO leader's vision (GIVING) for our cell came true and my brothers and sisters in church showered me with love like i'm a small little baby!!! my fingers and my toes are not enough to count the blessings!!! ahhh!!!=) God sent me angelsss!!! He sent the best people and put the MOST GENG one's around me to bless and love me!!! I want to give thanks to my MOST GENG DADDY!!! He is really trully undoubtly GENG!!!=)
first and foremost...i must annouce that I'M STILL ALIVEEE!!! ahhh!!!=) still breathing, still laughing, still talking, still sleeping, still mumbling, still chatting, still eating, still walking, still running, still salivating, still smelling my feet, still eating food with hands, still still still still ALIVE!!!
let me introduce myself more to those who don't know me..i'm a pharmacy student, i proudly say that=) now second year and it's really really really TOUGH!!! this week, i had two KILLING units, the amount of things we need to memorise is approximately 5cm of full pack notesss...almost every page need to memorise and and and...waliao!!!=) and partly because i didn't study much during the semester lar...my fault=) i broke down and really went down on my knees. IT was impossibleee!!! really impossibleee!!! how how how???!!! how to finish??? even if can finish, how how how to remember sooo much???!!! how???!!! HOW was my most used word with God in our conversation for the past two weeks...=) i asked sooo much until i want to vomit=)
but today i shall share what happen this morning and last night. I was studying HARD (i think lar) for this morning's paper since weds. Ok, maybe weds i slacked a bit but still i really studied! then thurs was full on!!! i wokeup in the morning (FORCEd myself), studied, ate, slept for one hour in the afternoon (i normally sleep 2 hours---afternoon nap) and studieddd!!! i even studied until my back pain larrr....means sit tooo long...ahhh!!! waliao!!! cramp cramp cramp!!! kept cramping the STUFF into my tiny monkey brain!!! sooo much sooo much!!! ahhh!!!
it was all well and fine...weds and thurs whole day i felt happy glad energetic and believed had faith everything will be fine!!! i could do it!!! i was really happy!!! and i just felt peace all the time, like don't have exam kinda feeling...then...after dinner, i started feeling tired edi...so i went shower...after shower...did my quiet time, came out and studied in the hall as i always used do. Then then...i don't know why, but as i read through the notes, i just couldn't absorb what i was reading at all!!! everything seem to be blur and just words...no heart!!!
I WAS FINDING MY HEART!!! my HEART was not there and i knew it was not there!!! i don't know why!!! i was really desperate for God, really really desperate for God...it was already time of frustration, time of disappointment, time of NO TIME!!! ahhh!!! no time liao!!! i still got alot alot haven't read!!! HOW???!!! and my brain wasn't functioning at all, it was telling me: "trecia, I DON'T WANT TO WORK EDI!!! I QUIT!!!" waliao...imagine your brain telling you he/she wants to quit!!! and my body was also saying: "trecia trecia, i'm really tired, i'm really tired, can you let me rest???!!" i was like: "WHAT???!!! you both want to rest at this time, when i need to finish everything by tomoro morning???!!! are you crazy???!!! please lar please lar...tahan a few more hoursss, then i let you rest okok???!!!" but both of them insisted and i couldn't do much yeah...so i went to sleep for one hour, then wokeup, the same thing, my brain very naughty!!! say don't want means don't want...so i gave up and say ok lar, i go sleep 3.5hours then wakeup and continue...i had to finish!!!
so so so...i slept, wokeup at 530am in the morning, CONTINUED!!! went tru all the major reactions and process, memo memo memo...didn't study the last two lecture notes coz it just couldn't go in. My body was tired!!! really tired!!! everything tired!!! Then i STOPPED at 810am. STOPPED everything...and i went to read my bible and this time i really SURRENDERED!!! coz i really couldn't do anything else, really couldn't. I told God, nah that's all i can do, I SURRENDER...saying these few words for the millionth time...this time, i said it with all my heart, coz i knew that was the only thing i could do already, nothing else!!! and then, i went, my hands holding on to an encourgement note from an angel=) i held it tight!!!...
when i opened my front door, right before my eyes, i saw HAZEL!!! ahhh!!! ahhh!!! sooo yham!!! ahhh!!! she was right before my eyes!!! ahhh!!!=) we hugged each other and she said jiayou!!!=) love herrrr!!!!!!!!! i tell you right from that moment i stepped out from my front door, i knew God was with me!!! He was He was!!! no fear no fear!!! ahhh!!!=) then, as usual a few of us gathered and we prayed, this time each of us really prayed with a sincere heart and a heart to want daddy to help us!!! a heart that believed!!! really believed and surrendered!!!=) i walked in the exam hall with NO FEAR AT ALL. I was the first one to walk into the exam hall, and i walked in with heads held high!!!=) as i read the paper during the reading time, i started writing...i don't normally write during reading time, mainly because my brain can't function properly during the first few minutes de...but i was writing!!! and i was really writing!!! i actually couldn't believe i was writing...haha=) and then when it was time to start, i just kept on writing non-stop...non-stop...really non-stop...there were sooo many questions i didn't understand and didn't know how to do, BUT my right hand was writing non-stop!!! waliao!!! i tell you!!! it wasn't me doing the paper just now, it really wasn't me!!! God was doing the paper for me!!! He was writing for me!!! ahhh!!! i never really felt like that before hey!!! and it was just amazing!!! i don't know if i will pass the paper BUT i BELIEVE GOD will help me pass the paper!!!=) i just believe it!!!
and when i stepped foot into my house, right in front of my eyes was a box of tiramisu handmade by my two lovely wonderful kids (i call them my kids, they call me mummy)!!! ahhh!!! this semester i have been blessed sooo much!!! sooo much!!! the blessings i received is beyond what anybody could ever comprehand!!! my SIAO leader's vision (GIVING) for our cell came true and my brothers and sisters in church showered me with love like i'm a small little baby!!! my fingers and my toes are not enough to count the blessings!!! ahhh!!!=) God sent me angelsss!!! He sent the best people and put the MOST GENG one's around me to bless and love me!!! I want to give thanks to my MOST GENG DADDY!!! He is really trully undoubtly GENG!!!=)
~G2~
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