I choose to be Mary

Today on a cold spring day in Melbourne, I am filled with a sense of peace and stillness. God is present in my heart and I feel His overflow of love and peace. I am reminded that I have life because of His son.

I haven't written in a long time. It's as if I haven't written a love post to Him for a long time. Today as my heart tries to keep up with deciphering the love code He has written on my soul, the song plays on repeat........... Love came down and rescued me, Love came down and set me free, I am His.
And ohhh, how my soul sings out with joy!

Funny how songs reach where no speech can. Perhaps that is the reason heaven is filled with songs, songs of praise and worship, of adoration and awe.

I realise today that I'm always like Martha, having the mindset of running around getting things done (cos I figure that's more important) when Christ just wants me to be like Mary, sitting down at His feet to enjoy His company. Often, after getting things done, I just feel too tired to do anything else. How much better if I go to Him first then getting renewed/refueled for the days ahead. At least I set right first who is most important in my life.

So today (and by faith, everyday), I choose to be Mary. Teehee.

g3

Love Came Down- Brian Johnson

If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice
I’ll hold on to what is true though I cannot see
If the storms of life they come and the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith
I will believe

I remind myself of all that You’ve done
And the life I have because Your Son

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out remind my soul
That I am Yours I am forever Yours

When my heart is filled with hope
and every promise comes my way
When I feel Your hands of grace rest upon me

Staying desperate for You God
Staying humbled at Your feet
I will lift these hands and praise
I will believe

I remind myself of all that You’ve done
And the life I have because Your Son

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out remind my soul
That I am Yours I am forever Yours

I am Yours
I am Yours
All my days
I am Yours

I am Yours, I'm Yours forever
I am Yours, I'm Yours forever
I am Yours, I'm Yours forever Lord

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out remind my soul
That I am Yours I am forever Yours

g3

Learning

A wave of worries have been flooding my life, one after the other which made me ponder upon what is love, and what loving another person truly is about.

I've finally realised today that loving is expecting nothing in return and having the person's best interest at heart. Nothing matters more than that when it comes to loving a person; not even my own hopes and expectations for ministry, cell group, or personal life.

I am learning to be aware that emotions can become our god, and how dangerous that can be in that emotions sway my perception of people, ministry and life. The person comes first in God's eyes.

I shall learn to put people first, ministry second. Much like how Jesus took His time to stop for a person even when He had many more to minister to. Just like how Jesus forgave Peter even after Peter denied Him three times, viewing things that happen with a much bigger perspective than just that moment in time.

How do I know exactly what or how or who? I've come to a point where I want with all my heart to hear God's voice. Not the voice of peers, friends, leaders, people I love, sermons, worship songs, books, testimonies. Just solely Him, purely Him.

He is more than enough.

g3

2 things

2 things that God has reminded me today:

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails

Love is more than what we think it is. It is not what the world thinks it is. Love is selfless and sometimes, it means that we love enough to allow someone else to love another.

2. God is still good I am down with dry cough which makes me cough non-stop, even vomitting cos of the reflex. My lungs and throat constantly feels itchy and body aches. My mind feels tired and I am deprived of sleep.

I typed this in sms: "I spent the whole night and morning asking God why I can't be healed. Got quite pekchek cos felt so uncomfotable, tired and can't even sleep. Wondered when the feeling will pass. But now i feel peace. And when housemate went out to backyard, saw this: A peak of bright, warm rays of sunlight and the tree swaying in the wind. Then I knew God is still good, and I can still praise Him even in these moments. Even when I can't be healed this moment. Made me think about all the sick people who feels much worst than I do and having to go thru that everyday. Truly everything is His. My health, my life, my possessions. He gives and takes away. M awed. God is good, still good."

I never understood Job (in the bible). Today, I get a small glimpse of what it could have been for him....the thoughts, the sense of desperation, the turmoil of feelings happening inside. How he must have hung on to God.

So i believe in this: where I am now will not be where I am tomorrow. What I feel now will not be what I feel tomorrow. This will pass, just like the rainbow after the rain. God will restore my health and make me even more prosperous than before. My life is and will be blessed because this is His promise to us as His children.

g3

Awakened

Sitting here hours before orientation starts to put my heart right before Him, I am reminded once again of God's love.
Of His real presence. His deliverance. His abounding grace.

My heart yearns to beat His heartbeat, my soul to be awakened, my being to be near Him.

All He says is that He is WITH us. He is FOR us.

So I deduce that if He says that, nothing can stand against us. :)




g3

she bothers

person A: Why her?
person B: Because she bothers.

Just 2 simple words. She bothers. It requires effort, time and a heart. Do you bother?=)

g2

2 Cor 9:8

And God is able to make all abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

g2

job 14:19

Water wears away stones.

g2

1 Corinthians 2:9

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.

I will let you go because I know He has things in store for you that is waiting for you back in Malaysia. Go and accomplish the missions God has prepared for you. I love you.
g2

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Today I had the chance to meet up with one sister who really has the so-called faith in God. She is one who is not ashamed of who she is in His kingdom. She talks about God like nobody's business and she always glorifies and honours His name in her daily conversations with people around her. I'm just amazed by the pure faith she has. On the way home, she shared with me the above verse from Hebrews. MAybe, just MAybe for many of us, we just need a little bit of faith to walk this journey? For the things ahead of us, the uncertainties there are in the world, MAybe we just need a little bit of faith. Also, talking about our FATHER in heaven shouldn't be something that we are ashamed of or something we only do while we are among christians. It should be a lifestyle. We should be proud to talk about Him in any occasions because He is indeed faithful and true. No doubt about that.

g2