I realised this:
The higher I climb, the more I give in to the world's definition of leadership...to be up there doing the things I'm supposed to the way I'm supposed to do.
This afternoon, I felt the pressure mounting on me; to lead, to do the right thing, to engage people, and to create an atmosphere in which everyone feels accepted. And when I reached home to study, I felt the pressure to perform, to do well in my supplementary paper, to study like how others study....making every second count.
Alas, it was when I sat in front of the laptop that the pressure got to me. I felt taken aback. Thing is, I don’t know what to do and how to do something at times. I can’t study continuously like how others do. The list goes on.
As always, God, being the ever loving Father He is, rebuked me gently just now.
He told me that I am not created that way. I can't and am not meant to be doing things other people can.
He told me that the thing I do best is to love, and to come sit at His feet.
He told me that the higher I climb, the lower I should be. My place is to be down there, not to be up there; to be doing the things He has placed in my heart the way He wills for me to do.
It means not getting caught up with leadership and the expectations that come with it and with circumstances in life. I am but a servant following the most remarkable leader there is, Christ.
And that is what I truly need to comprehend.
G3
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