And now my lifesong sings

I once was lost, but now I’m found
I once was lost, but now I’m found
So far away, but I’m home now
I once was lost, but now I’m found
And now my lifesong sings

I once was blind, but now I see
I once was blind, but now I see
I don’t know how, but when He touched me
I once was blind, but now I see

And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings

I once was dead, but now I live
I once was dead, but now I live
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You



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God is moving

God is moving, and I pray that we shall see His promise with our spiritual eyes. What God is doing around the world can be done here too. God is not limited, an neither should we, His children, be limited in our vision. What He is doing in Reinhard Bonnke, He can do in anyone who is willing to be faithful, to obey Him, and who will take up the cross daily.



When I watched the video below, I cant help but tear. God is fulfilling His word.



And one day, the gospel shall be preached to all the nations of this world, and then the end shall come. We will see our creator face to face, and give an account of the life we lead here on earth.

Let us take the baton and run our race. The day of the harvest lies before us, and God is our message. Let us dare to believe it.

'..for all the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord, as the water covers the sea' Isaiah 11:9

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God is good

For the past few weeks, I have been asking Him questions after questions, waiting on Him for answers. Today, I encountered another setback, and feelings of being useless started to surface.

But today, God again showed Himself true. God is amazing.
He answered in His own way, reassuring me and reminding me of the lessons He has taught me.

He did this in the most peculiar way ever, through 5 daily devotional cards my good friend gave me a long time ago, cards which I absentmindedly used as bookmarks for library books I lent.

In the car, I felt a nudging to read them. When I did, I was just blown away. God is faithful. His ways are above our ways.

These are what the cards say:

1. You were shaped for serving God- 'We are simply God's servants..Each one of us does the work which the Lord gave him to do: I planted the seed, Apollos watered the plant, but it was God who made the plant grow' 1 Corinthians 3:5-6
2. Life is a test and a trust- 'Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones' Luke 16:10
3. I was created to become like Christ- 'As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like Him and reflect His glory even more' 2 Corinthians 3:18
4. It is never too late to start growing- 'Let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God- what is good and is pleasing to Him and is perfect' Romans 12:2
5. God smiles when I trust Him- 'The Lord is pleased only with those who worship Him and trust His love' Psalm 147:11

This may not mean anything much to others, but it meant the world to me. To be reassured by God that He is with me despite the imperfection that is in me renewed my spirit.

I love God, and as I continue to serve Him, I trust He will continue to work in me so I may recognise His will and become more like Him.

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The vestibule of Heaven

As I listen to In the Potters Hand by Hillsongs, tears started running down my cheeks. This is the song that is ministering to me now.

I remember praying to Him, asking Him to set me apart, to lead me, to mould me. And He did just that. He set me apart, and I know that I am reserved for Him.

Things I do now, I do because He has called me to. The life I have now, I lead according to how He tells me to. It is wonderful, but as God sets me apart, sometimes the only person I have is Him.

It is the greatest privilege, but now, I finally understand how lonely it can be. The things I see, not many do. The things I say, not many grasp the essence of it. The things I do, not many understand.

God's words in the bible come alive and are beginning to make sense. I'm learning slowly to die to myself, to the desires of my flesh and to things of the world. I'm learning to give up things I want, things I have, things I like.

Sometimes, I struggle with God. Why can't I have the same things as others do? Why can't I have the same blessings, the same success?

And now, even as I struggle again, I'm being reminded of what Hudson Taylor wrote, the vestibule of Heaven:
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If God has called you to be really like Jesus in all your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility, and put on you such demands of obedience that He will not allow you to follow other Christians, and in many ways, He will seem to let other good people do things that He will not let you do.

Other Christians and ministers who seem very religious and useful may push themselves, pull wires and work schemes to carry out their plans, but you cannot do it. If you attempt it, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent.

Others can brag about themselves, their work, their success, or their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing. If you begin it, He will lead you into such deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.

Others will be allowed to succeed in making great sums of money or having a legacy left to them or in having luxuries. But God may supply you daily because He wants you to have something far better than gold and that is a helpless dependence on Him, that He may have the privilege of providing your needs day by day out of the unseen treasury.

The Lord may let others be honoured and put forward but keep you hidden away in obscurity because He wants to produce some choice, fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can only be produced in the shade.

God will let others be great, but keep you small. He will let others do a work for Him and get the credit for it, but He will make you work and toil on without knowing how much you are doing. Then to make your work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work which you have done, and this will make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes.

The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch over you, with a jealous love, and will rebuke you for little words and feelings or for wasting your time, over which other Christians never seem distressed.

So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has a right to do as He pleases with His own, and He may not explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle your reason in His dealings with you.

He will take you at your word and if you absolutely sell yourself to be His slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love and let other people say and do many things which He will not let you say or do.

Settle if forever that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, and He is to have privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing you eyes, in ways that He does not deal with others.

Now when you are so possessed with the Loving God, that you are in your secret heart pleased and delighted over the peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of Heaven.
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As I read through this reminder, I am humbled. I know that God knows my hearts desires, and that He will give me more than what I ask for. I know that this is all worth it. God is worth it.

I long for more of Him. I am hungry and thirsty. Like Hudson Taylor, I want to settle it forever that I am to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, and that God has the privilege over my life.

He is leading and molding me, drawing me to Him. I am waiting for the coming of the day when I finally find the vestibule of Heaven.

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The need is not the call

The need is not the call.

We must go where God sends us, speak what He gives us to speak, hear His voice and obey it- this is our best protection from burnout. It will also guide us to the very best strategy for accomplishing His mission.

For everything a man does to follow the call of God, there are ten things he does not do. We cannot do everything. We must focus on the call and not simply the needs.

-Reinhard Bonnke

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Caught up in things of the flesh

I know by writing this post that I may hit a nerve. But please let me clarify that I have nothing against anyone; rather, it is things about me that God is revealing to me more and more about. I want to share as I can feel the weight of this conviction so heavily on my heart right now.

It is the exam period now; everyone is studying and stressing over exam, so am I. I remember complaining to my coursemates and housemate about how this is so hard, that this is all too stressful, and that there is just too much to do.

This is the problem.

I look around and I see complaints, hopelessness, despair, fear. I see people caught up in themselves. I see people neglecting others because they are too busy to care. I see people leaving behind the weak to join the strong so they can be 'stronger'. I see people receiving and keeping and forgetting to give during this crucial period.

I see Christians putting others aside during stressful moments with a preconceived idea to catch up with them after, offering fear instead of hope, and indirectly/unknowingly pulling others down instead of pushing them up.

I see ME, and tonight, the eyes of my heart have been opened to allow me to see truly how real and ugly this part of me is. Yet, He still accepts and loves unconditionally.

This part of me focuses most of the attention on me and my assignments and my exam and my difficulties. This 'me' passes off many opportunities to be there for others because there is simply too much on my plate, choose to turn my face away from the Holy spirit and closed my ears to its voice, let go of responsibilities as a Christian, and stray away from God. I chose myself and my desires and my sins over God and people.

This 'me' play it safe, I do what it takes just to get me through as a Christian. I take the easy way instead of the right way. I realise I send encouraging smses when I feel I'm okay but not when I'm busy or down. I succumb to complaining and feeling miserable instead of declaring God's victory through His word.

I'm not saying that feeling stressed, helpless and low is a problem. We are humans who are made to feel. What becomes a problem is what we do with the emotions. Do we allow the emotions to fester, or do we hand them over to God, and hold onto His words?

And I think to myself, what image of a Christian do I portray? If I believe in God, and I act/feel the same way as other people who do not have God, what does that say about God? If I can't portray God's love and hope during a normal student's life moments, how can I then expect God to give me the bigger things in life?

And this is what my friends are given an opportunity to say, "Where is this God you believe in? How do you expect me to believe that your God cares, provides, gives peace and saves His people when you don't even show that in your attitude and speech and actions".

A verdict is reached in court after an examination of testimonials and evidences. If I am to be called to stand in court for my Christian faith in the student life arena, I will be found guilty. My case lacks both testimonials (speech, attitude) and evidences (actions, witness).

You see, people naturally assume position as the jury. If they do not see the witness and evidence, they are not convinced and find it hard to believe. Most do not get a chance to see how we behave in church, how we treat cell members etc. They are more likely to look at how we live our lives, not how well we carry out our religious activities.

There is a difference. I can see it in one of my friend who practiced what she preached; She encouraged me through phone calls even though we are miles apart and even when I did not do the same for her. She could have chosen to tell me how miserable her life is. Instead, she told me it's hard but she believes that God will bring her through it. She offered me comfort, and strengthened me when I needed it.

I long to show the same to others. To be a pillar of comfort, and be the light that shines through the darkness. To offer God's words of encouragement and mean every word. To offer my burden, regret, despair, worry, and fear to God. To know the lines between sharing and complaining.

It's time for me to change this aspect of my student life with His help. My prayer is that we be one body that glorifies Christ through our actions, speech, and life. That together, as His people, we can reflect something of what He is like- that the world can look at us and say, 'So this is what God is like!'

That "we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" 2 Corinthians 3:18

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The chalk

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